Sent Santa a letter saying I wanted a nice, caring, intelligent, loving man for Christmas, just got a letter back saying “I’m Santa not a bloody miracle worker.
For christmas I bought my girlfriend a treadmill and a Victoria’s Secret catalogue.
I hope you like these ideas for your Christmas status updates for Facebook and Twitter, at least for me they were really funny.
While assuring children that Santa really does exist, I’m often quick to add “unlike you” just to keep them on their toes.
This ice cold weather is hilarious! I’m stood outside the mental hospital watching the staff trying to free fifty tongues from the windows!
My girlfriend told me she was hoping for a white Christmas… So I spunked in her eyes.
Christmas is a good time to open our hearts to Jesus and his gifts.
Just like the rest of the year.
Choosing someone based on their looks, is like picking a Christmas gift based on the wrapping paper.
Mazapoint 