Unique Messages & Quotes

Sent Santa A Letter

Sent Santa a letter saying I wanted a nice, caring, intelligent, loving man for Christmas, just got a letter back saying “I’m Santa not a bloody miracle worker.

For Christmas

For christmas I bought my girlfriend a treadmill and a Victoria’s Secret catalogue.

I Hope You Like

I hope you like these ideas for your Christmas status updates for Facebook and Twitter, at least for me they were really funny.

While Assuring Children

While assuring children that Santa really does exist, I’m often quick to add “unlike you” just to keep them on their toes.

Everyone’s Getting Into

Everyone’s getting into relationships. What am I getting into? MORE FOOD BRB.

This Ice Cold

This ice cold weather is hilarious! I’m stood outside the mental hospital watching the staff trying to free fifty tongues from the windows!

My Girlfriend Told

My girlfriend told me she was hoping for a white Christmas… So I spunked in her eyes.


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